all your report are belong to us

I wasn't going to write a report, but my lineup of opponents was actually pretty
badass, so here's a quick little deal before I get to the coverage.

I played SSB. I ran this list:

4 Force of Will
4 Mana Drain
4 Brainstorm
4 Thirst for Knowledge
2 Gifts Ungiven
1 Ancestral Recall
1 Time Walk
1 Tinker
1 Fact or Fiction
1 Mystical Tutor
1 Mana Severance
1 Chain of Vapor
2 Goblin Welder
1 Recoup
2 Duress
1 Demonic Tutor
1 Yawgmoth's Will
1 Goblin Charbelcher
1 Mindslaver
1 Pentavus
1 Black Lotus
1 Sol Ring
1 Mana Crypt
1 Mana Vault
1 Lotus Petal
1 Mox Sapphire
1 Mox Jet
1 Mox Ruby
1 Mox Pearl
1 Mox Emerald
1 Library of Alexandria
1 Darksteel Citadel
1 Tolarian Academy
1 Island
2 Flooded Strand
2 Polluted Delta
4 Volcanic Island
3 Underground Sea
SB:
3 Red Elemental Blast
3 Chalice of the Void
2 Blue Elemental Blast
2 Rack and Ruin
2 Rushing River
2 Tormod's Crypt
1 Flametongue Kavu

Judging from the day prior, the changes I'll be making for the next tournament I
run this deck will be -1 Volcanic Island, +1 Snow Covered Island, and from the
sideboard -1 Chalice of the Void (combo sucks), and -1 Flametongue Kavu for +2
Old Man of the Sea.

Round One: (Sorry I don't remember your name) playing some form of Tendrils
My immediate impression was that he was playing SX with a couple extra lands,
since he played a City of Brass and an Underground Sea, but also Spoils and
Darkwater Egg.
Game one I counter some turn one spell, I think it was Ancestral Recall, and
then I just start building up card advantage until I can Mindslave him. When I
do, he's holding Demonic among other things. He topdecks Spoils of the Vault,
and I have him name Chaos Orb.
-1 Pentavus, -1 Goblin Welder, -1 Chain of Vapor, +3 Chalice of the Void
Game two I resolve Tinker, but having boarded out Pentavus and discarded
Mindslaver, all I can get is Goblin Charbelcher. Seeing as he runs Spoils, I
anticipate this being good enough. I belch randomly at the end of his turn, and
flip over not one, not two, but TEN cards and then a Volcanic for exactly 20.
It's less impressive than it sounds though, since he was already at 13.

2-0, 1-0

Round Two: Andy Probasco (TheBrassMan) playing Stax
Game one Andy gets a pretty solid draw against me and pretty soon I'm staring
down Sundering Titan, Goblin Welder, and a handful of Sphere of Resistance.
-2 Duress, -1 Gifts Ungiven, -1 Mana Severance, +2 Rack and Ruin, +2 Rushing
River
Reasoning behind the Gifts coming out is that it will cost far too much. If I
can get 4 mana, I'm probably going to win anyway. Mana Severance is a no
brainer. I chose to leave the Belcher in, which was probably a mistake, but I
like having answers in the maindeck to Goblin Welder.
The game drags on for a while. I cast Demonic Tutor to get Rushing River,
anticipating Blue Elemental Blast and trying to set up a hardcast Mindslaver
play through his Spheres of Resistance and active Welder. When I finally do, the
slave turn is really ridiculous, and I end up setting up a stupid Yawgmoth's
Will turn, which allows me to go the distance with Pentavites and Time Walk
during extra turns.

3-1, 1-0-1

Round Three: Alex Crestfield (Lord of the Goats) playing Sensei, Sensei
Game one Alex gets a turn two Future Sight, which I believe he had Force of Will
backup for. I try to race it, but he finds Deep Analysis and outdraws me
hardcore.
-1 Chain of Vapor, -1 Mana Severance, -1 Goblin Charbelcher, +3 Red Elemental
Blast
I figure a Mindslaver activation will kill him anyway, so I might as well just
board out the Belcher pieces.
I have a pretty ridiculous hand, that accelerates in to stupid broken things
pretty early, complete with Duress and Red Elemental Blast backup. He casts
Cranial Extraction on me, naming what I think was Thirst for Knowledge, but
might have been Force of Will. When I slave him, he's holding a second Cranial
Extraction, which I have him play targetting himself naming Sensei's Divining
Top. He scoops.
-2 Duress, +2 Rack and Ruin
I'm not on the play anymore, and Rack and Ruin is pretty good against Sensei if
you live long enough to use it.
Alex takes a lot of damage from an early mana crypt this game, and between both
my welders beating down, he probably gets flashbacks of playing against fish. On
his final turn, he rips Future Sight, and chains a bunch of artifact mana, but
can't quite assemble the combo because I Rack and Ruin'd his junk before he
started going nuts.

5-2, 2-0-1

Round Four: Rich Shay (The Atog Lord) playing SSB
I forgot what exactly makes Rich's list different from mine, but I'm pretty sure
it's only one or two slots.
Game one Rich has a draw heavy hand, and I have a business light hand. I can't
keep up and it doesn't take very long for him to find Gifts and resolve it.
-2 Goblin Welder, -1 Chain of Vapor, -1 Pentavus, -1 Gifts Ungiven, +3 Red
Elemental Blast, +2 Blue Elemental Blast
The stuff coming out is pretty easy. I don't like having 4 cost blue spells in a
matchup where my opponent is likely to have REB, and my own BEBs are really good
against that kind of crap. It's pretty easy to walk someone in to playing REB
and losing to the surprise BEB.
Rich gets active Library on the draw, but I set up a pretty early Tinker with
the aid of a Force of Will and a Blue Elemental Blast. I get Mindslaver and ruin
Rich with it, casting Fact or Fiction on his turn to get 5 cards that are all
gassy.
Game three Rich gets a draw heavy hand, but I'm able to force a Gifts Ungiven
through thanks again to BEB.

7-3, 3-0-1

Round Five: Chris Browne (Demonic Attorney) playing SSB
Game one I'm slightly ahead of Chris the whole time, until he randomly hardcasts
Sundering Titan and murders my board.
Boarding same as against Shay
I believe I get active Library this game, and while I milk it Chris tries to
find spells that do more than lose to Duress. Eventually I cast Mana Severance
through his counter wall, and draw nothing but gas until he dies.
Game three Chris manages to resolve Tinker, but for some reason he boarded out
his Sundering Titan. This gives me plenty of time to set up a kill having
resolved Mana Severance already.

9-4, 4-0-1

Round Six: (Sorry I forgot your name) playing I think Oath Salvagers
We ID.

9-4, 4-0-2

Top Eight: Jeff Tussi playing Intuition Slaver
Game one Jeff has an opening hand featuring three moxes and Academy. We go to
game two pretty quick.
-1 Pentavus, -1 Chain of Vapor, -2 Goblin Welder, -2 Duress, -1 Gifts Ungiven,
+3 Red Elemental Blast, +2 Blue Elemental Blast, +2 Tormod's Crypt
I chose to add Tormod's Crypt too because Intuition sure does suck against it.
Duress came out because even on the play, it's just not as good as Crypt.
I play an early Crypt, and Jeff plays an early Library. Having played SSB
against active library only a half a million times, I immediately set up the
Tinker with BEB backup play and it works. I get Goblin Charbelcher and take his
Goblin Welder out of commission, followed by his Platinum Angel. Then I aim at
him until he dies.
Game three Jeff gets turn one Library again, and I don't have the juice to find
that early Tinker. He resolves his Tinker for Mindslaver, but can't activate it
until he untaps. I play Academy, and cast in this order: Gifts Ungiven, Mana
Drain, Time Walk, Fact or Fiction. Fact or Fiction reveals a ton of gas and
Yawgmoth's Will. On my Time Walk turn, I Yawgmoth's Will, Tinker, Time Walk,
Mystical, then I untap, cast the Severance I mysticalled for, and fire at his
face for 23.

11-5, 5-0-2

Top Four: (Sorry I forgot your name) playing Gay/Red
Game one I make a mistake and forget about my Mana Crypt, which kills me after
I've put Pentavus in play.
Game two I sideboarded super wrong, and he gets to resolve Null Rod.


And now, the moment you've all been waiting for... Master Tap (Dana Renfrew) vs
Crazy Carl (Carl Winter)

For what's such an awesome matchup, there's very little trashtalking done. Dana
makes an obligatory Lava Dart joke, and they shuffle and cut.

Dana leads game one with Mountain, Mogg Fanatic, passing the turn.
Carl opens with Mox Jet, Duress, which takes Lava Dart from a hand featuring
triple Factory and a Grim Lavamancer. Carl then plays Tolarian Academy and
Phyrexian Furnace.
Dana drops a Factory, and casts Grim Lavamancer. He swings with Mogg Fanatic.
Carl furnaces out Dana's Lava Dart.
Carl plays Flooded Strand, and a second Furnace.
Dana drops another Factory, and swings for 5, dropping a Vandal in his second
main.
Carl fetches up an Underground Sea on Dana's end step, and busts a Furnace in to
Thirst for Knowledge, which he casts discarding Boseiju and Island. He then
untaps and drops a Volcanic Island.
Dana swings for 5. Carl Brainstorms on the end step.
Carl casts Yawgmoth's Will, to play Mox Jet, Phyrexian Furnace, Island,
Brainstorm, Mox Pearl, and scoop.

Game two begins with Carl's mulligan in to Underground Sea, Brainstorm, and he
quickly puts Boseiju on top of his library.
Dana plays a Mountain and a Mogg Fanatic.
Carl plays a Polluted Delta, and digs up a Volcanic for Brainstorm, then Mox
Pearl, and Time Walk. He then plays a Flooded Strand, gets a second Volcanic,
and casts Ancestral Recall, Brainstorm, and Black Lotus.
Dana plays a second Mountain, swings, and plays a Pyrostatic Pillar, which gets
Force of Willed pitching Force of Will.
Carl casts an end of turn Gifts Ungiven for Tinker Recoup Yawgmoth's Will Mana
Vault, and Carl gets Recoup and Mana Vault. Carl plays Mana Vault, Recoups his
Will, plays Lotus, Ancestral, Brainstorm, Delta -> Sea, Tinker -> Colossus.
Dana plays a Great Furnace (way better than the phyrexian kind) and plays a
second Fanatic and Shrapnel Blast to the face.
Carl flashbacks Recoup on Time Walk, and swings for 22.

Game three Dana leads with Mountain, Vandal.
Carl opens with Sea, Duress, taking Null Rod.
Dana plays Mountain, swings, and drops a Fanatic.
Carl Brainstorms, fetches up a Sea, and brainstorms again.
Dana plays a Mountain, and swings.
Carl plays Volcanic Island, Brainstorms again, and then plays Ruby, Sol Ring,
Time Walk, Demonic Tutor. He untaps and Tinkers for Colossus, and drops
Engineered Explosives at 1.
Dana swings, and the colossus blocks Vandal.
Carl plays Academy and attacks.
Dana attempts to cast Threaten, which gets Drained after a Pyroblast meets Force
of Will.

This puts Carl at 2-1, and in to the top eight.