all your report are belong to us

I wasn't planning on writing a tournament report but after the insistence of:
TheAtogLord, Joblin Velder and others I decided to do so. The best way to begin
is with a decklist of the horrible contraption that took me to 16th place:

Pillar Sligh2k5

The Beats: 16
4 goblin vandal
4 mogg fanatic
4 grim lavamancer
4 jackal pup

Burnination: 12
4 lightning bolt
4 lava dart
3 shrapnel blast
1 black vise

General Domination: 8
4 ankh of mishra
4 pyrostatic pillar

Hating The Meta: 4
4 pyroblast

Mana: 20
4 mishra's factory
1 mox ruby
3 great furnace
12 mountains

SB: 15
3 tormod's crypt
3 null rod
3 goblin bombardment
3 threaten
3 blood moon

A lot of you are reading through the DL and are obviously confused and laughing,
please post any questions and I will be happy to answer them. Now for the actual
matches, and I am sorry I but I didn't take notes so the matches may be a bit
blurred.

1st round U/b fish

Game 1 I win the roll and lead off with a mogg fanatic not being sure what I am
faced against. This illicit a small frown from my opponent so I assume he is
playing some sort of aggro. I later find out he is playing fish as several turns
go past and he drops the usual fish creatures. We trade back and forth for a
while with alternating swings this is when the turning point comes he goes to
play curiosity and a I respond with a lava dart taking his board. After that I
get a few more swings in he goes to play a creature and I respond with 2 bolts
for the game.

Game 2 I decide not to sb as I have plenty of answers main to his
creature/counter base. He leads off with a land and passes the turn we go back
and forth a few turns building our mana bases with my factories swinging all the
while. I am almost sad to win this way but he kept a no creature hand and I just
had factories and burn so I win the match with little resistance.

2nd round R/g dryad sligh

I go into the match pretty worried as I know he has more burn and bigger guys
than I do.

Game 1 I win the roll and lead off with a lavamancer hoping it will draw some
burn, instead he keeps throwing all his burn at my dome and a huge dryad
finishes me off.

Game 2 I bring in threaten hoping to steal one of his dryads for a turn and win
the game, which turned out to be a huge mistake. We go back and forth throwing
some burn at each other testing the waters for sb cards, unfortunately from my
list you can see I get the worst end of this exchange. I manage to threaten his
dryad which should have been game but he responds with a forked fireblast and a
bolt I shake my head and walk away angry.

3rd round 3 color oath

Game 1 I have no idea what he is playing so I toss out critters like nobody's
business, I end up being lucky and he just keeps drawing lands. I end up winning
game 1 without even knowing what I am playing against so I have no idea how to
sb until my opponent mutters how he never draws oaths. At this point all I can
think of I am totally screwed and am going to go 1-2 and drop. I bring in blood
moons and bombardments and hope for the best.

Game 2 Knowing what I am faced against I am much too timid with my creatures and
decide only to try and burn him out. A few turns pass and I draw goblin
bombardment I play it, my opponent sees goblin in the name and lets it resolve
thinking it was and actually goblin. At this point I go berserk playing guys
swinging and burning him down, eventually he gets me in terrible position with a
pernicious deed and drops an angel. It swings in for 5 turns and I lose the game
:(

Game 3 This ones for all the marbles I don't change my sb but to change my
strategy. I end up playing the beatdown deck getting him down to 5 in a few
turns in which he resolves an oath. I am scared he is going to oath out a plats
and I am going to lose but instead an ancient hydra comes out. I flash back lava
dart at eot killing it and swinging in next turn for match (not sure why he
didn't kill my guys). Though it didn't matter much I drew a shrapnel which would
have ended the game either way.

I am feeling on top of the world now doing the "impossible" beating oath with an
aggro deck. I end up going into round 4 pretty arrogant after that huge win.

4th round  Old School WW

Game 1 I win the roll and lead off with the traditional jackal pup to which he
responds next turn with a savannah lions (revenge of 1997). We go back and forth
my burn taking his guys his swords RFGing mine, then the hammer drops glorious
anthem. My jaw drops I am going to lose to this enchantment, as I have exhausted
my burn and am facing down a few shadow creatures.

Game 2 I don't sb and keep a so-so hand with a pair of factories some burn and a
mountain. A pair of samurai of the pale curtain have me in a bad spot when low
and behold an anthem drops. I know when to call it a day and scoop up my cards
realizing I have to win my next 4 matches to have a chance at top 16

5th round control slaver

I am matched up against a friend and testing partner of mine, so jokingly before
the game starts I ask him to just give me the win as I have the more powerful
deck :)

Game 1 I win the roll and lead off with a vandal much to his dismay. We start
going back and forth me dropping guys burn and utility, him doing nothing but
drawing. Eventually I get him in a position with an ankh, pyrostatic pillar in
play and a lava dart in yard with him being at 3 life, we scoop up our cards and
go to game 2.

Game 2 I board in null rods only as he is playing traditional slaver deck with 4
islands md. Much like the first game I build up creatures and burn while he
keeps drawing dead. The game lasts only a few turns and I walk off with my 1st
of 4 needed match wins.

6th round 3 color parfait

Game 1 I win the roll and lead of with a jackal pup. His turn 1 consists of
plains land tax, at this point I am all but wooping for joy seeing I am looking
at a possible bye. I swing in for a few turns about turn 5 he drops a humility
and turn 7 a moat. I respond in the next few turns with a few bolts and throw a
shrapnel blast at him for game at him.

Game 2 I bring in null rods to stop the tax rack draw engine. By turn 2 he has
tax/rack active and I only have a lonely jackal pup and factory out so I do what
sligh does best go aggro. I limp into the match win with with 4 damage a turn
from the factory and pup. I never realized how slow the deck really is.

7th round 3 color GAT

Game 1 I win the roll and lead off with a jackal pup to which I get a smart ass
comment of "son this is type 1 the extended tourney is down go play your jackal
pups their". A few turns pass of me beating down and dropping some guys, then
the one creature I didn't want to see comes out dryad. We have a large burn vs
counter war which I win and kill dryad, at this point my fat grave and pair of
lavamancers look pretty appealing to my opponent's clear board. I swing and burn
for a few turns when he topdecks a tog. Sad  I throw some more small burn at him
from lavamancers and darts which illicit a scoop from my opponent.

Game 2 I bring in nothing and hope to win the same way I won game 1. I end up
leading off with a pup again. Turn 2 I get a pillar down much to my opponents
dismay and followed it up with a turn 3 ankh turn 4 second pillar. A few burn
spells my opponent is locked out I get a match win with jackal pups. :p

8th round 2 land belcher

Game 1 I win the roll and lead off with a vandal hoping I might get a turn and
have a chance at winning the match. His first turn he explodes but ended up
running out of gas. I draw play a land mox swing in break an artifact and drop a
pyrostatic pillar. For several turns we go back and forth him drawing nothing me
just busting up his artifacts. Eventually he realizes he can't win and we go to
game 2.

Game 2 I side in null rods and hope for the best. Belcher does what it should
1st turn win consisting of: channel into memory jar into belcher for the win, as
he draw both lands between opening hand and jar. I am seriously bummed at this
point and really hoping to just get this highest not proxy prize.

Game 3 I lead off with a black vise and pass. Very much like game 1 he goes for
broke and stalls. At this point I start the burnination throwing out shrapnel
blasts, darts and on turn 4 eot 3 bolts. After the three bolts I have to make
the comment light you up bitch, the problem is at this point all I am holding is
a dart and a pyroblast. He draws and plays a mana crypt and tries to resolve a
twister which I hit with the pyro, and smile as I now have a win condition on
the board. We play draw go with him taking some crypt damage bringing him down
to 2. He looks at his hand I look at my double dart in grave he checks to see
what I am looking at and scoops up the cards.

I turn in the match results slip and am elated I pulled the impossible off 6-2
with sligh winning 4 matches in a row. After waiting for the longest 15 min. of
my life Ray starts to announce the top 16. By this time unknown to me word has
gotten around that have a chance to make it in with sligh which made for a
rather interesting reception when my name is called. Friends and a lot of people
I don't know start cheering for me like crazy during which I learn that I am
going to get matched up against Carl "lava dart" Winters. Before the match me
Rich and Carl joke about how I have the ultimate in anti Carl tech 4 lava dart
main. At this point I would stop with the match results and have you turn to the
coverage which ought to be going up in the next few days as I am sure my memory
is to muddled to do justice to the match.