all your report are belong to us

There's kind of a funny story/public excuse behind why the event ended up
starting at 5:00 instead of 3:00.  I'm going to include it in the prelude
section of my report for those who are interested.  Everyone else can skip down;
I've segmented the report appropriately.

The Prelude:

The day before the event, I sat down and tried to get a sense of what I should
expect at the tournament. The meta at Cape Cod consistently features a very
strong showing of Burninator, and Slaver is usually a presence, but beyond this
it tends to shift along with attendance. I soon gave up on trying to predict who
would opt for the Cape's cash prize and who would opt for the assuredly
non-Collector's Edition Mox in RI, and instead decided instead to engage my
usual prepatory ritual before every Cape Cod tournament. No, this isn't running
my Slaver build through a gauntlet of the dominant deck archetypes. No, this
isn't looking on the TMD forums and making sure there won't be any surprise
innovations. I prepare for Cape Cod by watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force with
Joblin Velder and Mastaq until 4:00am. Question the efficacy of this strategy if
you must, but it certainly got the job done for me this month.

The next morning, I awoke around 10:00am from my not-so-comfortable night's
sleep wedging my 5'11" frame onto Velder's 4' couch. After getting in some
last-minute preparation (i.e. watching the last 2 episodes of ATHF season 2 that
we didn't get to the night before), we were on our way to meet our 4th attendee,
TheDeadMan, at Your Move Games, Providence. Little did we know, this event in
itself would later lead to the formation of another Vintage team.

We arrived at YMG thinking that TheDeadMan would be able to drive himself, but
we discovered he needed a ride with us. This became a bit of an issue because
half of the backseat of our car was piled from floor to ceiling with junk. We
spent about 15 minutes cleaning out the car to make room, and in the process
placed Joblin Velder's backpack which contained his Type One Deck on the roof of
the car, not wanting it to be crushed in the trunk underneath all the other
stuff. As it would turn out, a worse fate awaited this backpack as we drove away
from the parking lot with it still on the roof. Unbeknownst to us, it fell off
and remained in the parking lot while we were on our merry way to the venue.

We arrive at 2:00 an hour and a half early. Velder decides that it's cold out,
and he should retrieve his coat from his backpack before going inside. After
looking for it in the backseat and trunk, we realize what has happened and
quickly run inside to ask if they can hold the tournament long enough for us to
go to Providence and back in what we predicted would be an hour and a half. We
were told that that feat would be "impossible" by the owner. Well, that sounded
like a wager to us, so off we went.

Sure enough, Velder's backpack remained in the parking lot, miraculously
undisturbed, long enough for us to call the owner of YMG and ask him to bring it
inside. We made record time until we hit the streets of Providence, and then
encountered the most ridiculous traffic jam ever. It took us literally 20
minutes to go the remaining 2 miles to the store. By now, it's 3:15. We're a
little behind schedule. We pick up the stuff, and another player to bring along
to the event, figuring an additional entry fee might be incentive enough to hold
the start time until we arrive. On the way back, the highway traffic soon became
inexplicably slow. After a while, we saw the cause of the slowdown-- 3 cars were
pulled off to the side of the road, and the entire back-right side of one,
including the wheel, was gone. We didn't spend much effort speculating on how
this could happen, since the other cars appeared to be fine, and instead focused
on moving as quickly as possible for the rest of the trip. Our efforts got us
back at 4:35.  We now deem ourselves "Team Punctuality" in light of our delayed
arrival. I was amazed to learn they held the start of the event the whole time.
That was incredibly cool.

The Swiss:

After hearing about how thrilled everyone else was with our prompt, and then
not-so-prompt, arrivals, we quickly paid and then found our seats for the first
round. I had played and beaten my first round opponent in the first round of the
last tournament.

Round 1: Paul, (No TMD name) with 4cc


Game 1

I keep a land heavy hand with an early welder, plus a brainstorm with a fetch
land. I figure this will allow me to get the Welder in early past 4cc's
counterwall and then find gas before 4cc can find removal. Unfortunately, it
didn't quite happen that way. The Brainstorm, and subsequent Ancestral, found me
several more mana sources which were in my hand when a Mind Twist hit them. A C.
Wish for Smother came next, and I died to Decree of Justice tokens. Frown.

Sideboard: -1 Triskelion, -1 Mystical Tutor, +2 REB

Game 2

I mull to 6 but find a hand with 2 Mox, Welder, 2 land, and a thirst. Good
enough. I lead with the Welder, and follow it next turn with a thirst that gets
Mindslaver in the graveyard. Once mindslaver is activated, my opponent's
Yawgmoth's Will enabled them to Ancestral me and then target it with a Drain.
Not to worry though, because they then had a change of heart and force of willed
their Drain, pitching Fact or Fiction. From here, it was academic.

Game 3

I keep a hand with 2 Welders, Mindslaver, and Library. I dig for gas over the
first four or so turns of the game, only to have a 7-point cycled decree of
justice happen to me around turn 6. I try to catch back up by Tinkering for
Pentavus with force backup, but it doesn't come together. I lose.

Matches: 0-1-0 Games: 1-2-0

Dejected at losing my first round after all the trouble I went through to get
there, I learned that only one of my fellow tournamentgoers had won their first
round. We are off to a bad start. The advent of the Round 2 pairings stops our
Type 4 game in its tracks, and I'm paired against Burninator.

Round 2: (Sorry, I can't remember your name), Burninator

Game 1

He blitzes me early with bolts, but an early tutor for Tinker for Pentavus fixes
that.

Sideboard: -1 Boseiju, -1 Triskelion, -1 Scrying, +3 Chalice

Game 2

Sulfuric Vortex hits off a lotus, mox opening, followed by a bolt. With the
pressure on, I dig for a tutor, find Tinker, and grab Sundering Titan, killing
my own land but putting him on a 2-turn clock between the Titan and the Vortex
with one mana open.

Matches: 1-1-0 Games: 3-2-0

Food arrives. I don't eat pizza, and this fact has become more and more apparent
each time I've gone. So this time, the TO actually ordered me a D'Angelo's sub.
Did I mention this place is awesome? I finish eating and watch another
Burninator player win through a Chalice for 1 against 3cc. Impressive. Everyone
else I came with won their match, save one. We are coming back.

Round 3: Random Jason (Apollyon), DeathLong

Game 1: I'm told Jason is playing DeathLong and mulligan a hand with Demonic
Tutor, 2 lands, a Welder, and other stuff. No early game against combo is bad
medicine. My 6 card hand includes adequate mana and Force of Will, so I keep it.
He opens with Gemstone Mine, Mox, Petal, 2 rituals, and a Wheel of Fortune.
Wheel gets forced, so he RFG's a Spirit Guide and hits me with a Tendrils for 6.
I lose my 12 life and then begin to build board position. The biggest risk I
took was a Scrying for 3 which took me to 2 life at the end of one of his turns,
but the Scrying got me another Force of Will and a Mana Drain. The Drain ends up
fueling a hardcast Trike which, along with 2 Welders and 2 Orchard tokens, swing
for lethal damage the turn after Jason deathwishes for something that set up a
kill on the next turn. Phew.

Sideboard -1 Welder, -1 Boseiju, -1 Darksteel Citadel, -1 Fact or Fiction, -1
Mystical Tutor, -1 Pentavus, +3 Chalice, +2 Tormod's Crypt, +1 Arcane Lab

Game 2

Combo hate much? I consider these to be effectively win conditions against combo
due to the self-destructive nature of most combo engines. I open with Tormod's
Crypt following Jason leading off with Forbidden Orchard. The Crypt pins down
the Rector engine long enough for Chalice for 1 to make an appearance, and the
Echoing Truth off a deathwish came way too late and was countered. Jason's
Orchard tokens do him in.

Matches 2-1-0 Games:5-2-0

Round 4: (Sorry, I can't remember your name), Control Slaver Variant

Game 1

I get an active welder out early and slave him around turn 5. He has 5 mana up
with Standstill, Mana Drain, and Goblin Welder in hand. See where I'm going with
this?  I searched his library and found other assorted innovations including
other Standstills, Crucible of Worlds, and only one Mindslaver.

Sideboard -1 Island, -1 Fact or Fiction, -1 Pentavus, -1 Darksteel Citadel, +2
Tormod's Crypt, +2 Lava Dart

Game 2

He gets out an early mindslaver himself, and I end up being able to Tinker the
turn before he can activate it. I go for Sundering Titan in the hopes of getting
rid of enough lands to prevent him from activating the Slaver long enough for me
to weld it out, but this doesn't happen. Luckily, my hand consists of 4 lands
and a Force of Will on my Slave turn. He sets up a small slave chain and ends up
taking out my welder with my Triskelion (without welding out my Sundering Titan
using my own welder), and the Titan goes the distance once he runs out of
artifacts.

Matches: 3-1-0 Games: 7-2-0

Round 5:

ID with ELD. Top 8 contention.


The Top 8:

The Top 8 consists of myself, ELD, Joblin Velder, Mastaq, 2 locals, and 2 other
people whose names escape me. I'm paired against one of the locals who I know
plays Cerebral Assassin.

Top 8 vs. Cerebral Assassin

Game 1

I keep a hand with Library on the draw and let a Welder resolve hoping that
Library will let me pull ahead in the race soon enough to win. This doesn't
happen. He digs for an artifact for a long time off Bazaar while I find lots of
lands and Welders of my own, but no threats. I'm forced to dip below Library
range by countering an Animate Dead on a Dragon and something else, only to have
Triskelion be discarded and welded in off a subsequent mox, killing my welders.
I hang on for quite some time with Pentavus holding off Trike and Sundering
Titan, but Possessed Portal ends up finishing the job.

Sideboard: -1 Boseiju, -1 Fact or Fiction, -1 Sundering Titan, -1 Mindslaver, -1
Darksteel Citadel +3 Tormod's Crypt, +2 Lava Dart

Game 2

I boarded out Boseiju because I noticed no Force of Wills over the course of an
extremely long game one, and saw my opponent boarding fewer than 4 cards in
against me between games.  I open with Tormod's Crypt, Mox, Welder and from here
it's never really a game. He tries to animate a few times, but Welder is always
there to move in Crypt. I slave him in the hopes of killing him with his own
Dragon combo, but end up pitching a Duress, a Tinker, and a land to the Bazaar,
leaving him with nothing of consequence. He scoops to YawgWill.

Game 3

I have Force of Will, Ruby, 2 land, Drain, Dart in hand. I keep. He Bazaars
right away, pitching threats into the graveyard. I save my counters for his
animates, and dart his welders. Tormod's Crypt shows up again and again prevents
me from being in danger of losing. I forget how I won, but I did.

Top 4 vs Intuition Slaver, List (c) TM and (R) Richard Shay, 2005.

I'm paired against ELD who refuses a 4-split. I Ancestral on his first upkeep
and find Boseiju early. He opens with Library of Alexandria. From here I wait
him out until my bomb spells appear, and play Tinker -> Slave off Boseiju. He
brainstorms at the end of my turn and I shuffle his stuff away with a fetchland.
He Forces and Drains a welder, pitching some good blue card, and Cunning Wishes.
I'm hoping to find something like Firestorm in his sideboard, since some people
have been talking about that going well with Wish as removal. Not having such
luck, I give him and Echoing Truth and leave him with little gas as I hardcast a
Titan knowing he has no counters. He almost climbs back in the turn before he
dies with a Welder, but Trikselion emerges from my hand to end things.

Sideboard: I honestly don't remember, but I worked in 2 REB, 2 Dart, and a
Crypt.

Game 2

Early on, he plays a Tormod's Crypt which makes the Sundering Titan, Trike, and
Mindslaver in my hand not go so well with my Welder.  I thirst the Titan into
the yard and use it to force ELD's hand on the Crypt, and then proceed to work
on re-starting my game plan with the remaining threats in my hand plus the
YawgWill I drew on turn 2.  He jumps way ahead in card advantage very early, and
I'm left with little means of catching up.  I do have an active welder and lots
of moxes, with Mindslaver and Triskelion in hand. He draws something like 6
cards on one of his turns, and by now he has Lotus, D. Tutor, Time Walk,
Ancestral, and more in his yard with access to 11 mana. I figure him draining my
Mindslaver won't make much of a difference since if he has Will on his turn, I'm
dead anyway and purposefully walk it into a counter for welding. On ELD's turn,
he plays I think 4 draw spells and ends with Intuition before passing to me. I
go to my turn and start a small slave chain before Triskelion and my
long-missing counter base put me in control long enough for YawgWill to solidify
the win.

It's me and Angelo Santiago (mastaq) in the finals, but our ride was sick in the
parking lot and I don't want to keep him out any longer than necessary. We split
the prize evenly and leave, remembering all our stuff. We'll be there next time.

The List:

4 Brainstorm
4 Mana Drain
4 Force of Will
4 Thirst for Knowledge
4 Goblin Welder
2 Mindslaver
1 Pentavus
1 Triskelion
1 Sundering Titan
2 Skeletal Scrying
Ancestral Recall
Fact or Fiction
Demonic Tutor
Mystical Tutor
Yawgmoth's Will
Time Walk
Tinker

4 Volcanic Island
3 Island
3 Underground Sea
3 Flooded Strand
2 Polluted Delta
1 Darksteel Citadel
1 Boseiju, Who Shelters All
Library of Alexandria
Black Louts
Mox Emerald
Mox Jet
Mox Sapphire
Mox Pearl
Mox Ruby
Sol Ring
Mana Crypt

Sideboard:

3 Tormod's Crypt
2 Lava Dart
3 Chalice of the Void
1 Arcane Laboratory
2 Red Elemental Blast
1 Echoing Truth
3 Rack and Ruin

EDIT:  Me and masatq played the finals out at YMG this past weekend.  Guess who
won.