all your report are belong to us

Part Two: Rhode Island

I had figured out by this point that d4gr0n is fun as hell and wins all the
time. Before I ever played dragon, all I ever played was rogue. Another teammate
of mine (Chris K "Moobius") was in a similar predicament. He had been having
moderate success with his rogue build of snakes. I convinced him to try Dragon
for this tournament. More on this later.

This time I had to work before the tournament. Which means drinking happened. I
ended up getting out of work at one o'clock in the morning consuming several
tasty malt beverages from the Amherst Brewing Company (Our ESB on cask is
fucking sextastic.) I end up making to campus for two o'clock in the morning,
and settle down for some playtestin'. I had heard from Asian James earlier in
the week that there was going to be at least ten dragon decks in Rhode Island
("That's amazing!111one") So I decided to tech out my build for the mirror.
After a bunch of playtesting and not much drinking (unfortunately) I catch a
couple hours of sleep before the tournament. Sleep is tech.

Here's what I was playing.

d4gr0n
by: iLL_Dawg

The Combo
4 Dragon
2 A Laquatas
1 Sliver Queen

Bringing it Back to Life
2 Animate Dead
3 Dance of the Dead
3 Necromancy

Oh, yes I Can Animate That Dragon
4 FOW
3 Stifle

Draw, Discard, Draw, Discard, Win
1 Ancestral Recall
2 Compulsion
4 Bazaar of Baghdad
4 Squee

7 Maindeck Tutors
3 Intuition
1 Demonic Tutor
1 Vampiric Tutor
2 Lim Dul's Vault

I Think I Want Another Turn
1 Time Walk

Bling
7 SOLOMoxen

Lands that Love the RFG Zone
4 Polluted Delta
4 Underground Sea
2 Bayou
1 Tropical Island
1 Swamp

Board Advantage
2 Reanimate
3 Pernicious Deed
3 Xantic Swarm
3 Verdant Force
2 Null Rod
2 Tormod's Crypt


I get there and find out that my "insider information" turns out to be blatantly
false. I decide to run my teched out version anyhow.

Round one, Fight!

Summer Sausage playing stupid crap (aka awesome shit) that loses (note: Ben
Kowal is the one taking this dictation, shit head)
Game one: I know from playtesting that he is playing 60 maindeck cards that hate
dragon. So I win the die roll and win on turn one before he has the chance to
drop so much as a single permanent with Bazaar throwing away double-Squee
Dragon, with Lotus Sol Ring Necromany and Force backup.
Game two: I remember he dropped a turn one True Believer, I dropped a deed which
got stifled, then I dropped another deed and popped it for two, taking out true
believer and a savannah lion at something stupid like 7 life. I suck. He drops a
Meddling Mage naming Dance of the Dead, and I animate a True Believer to keep
off the Meddling Mage beatz cause I fear Swords to Plowshares like a Little
Bitch. I compulsion away Dance for Animate, and win with Sliver Queen after
animating every creature in his graveyard. <3 stacking tricks.
1-0, 2-0

Round Two
Someone playing Keeper (lucky3aces on AIM)
Game one: Shit happened and I didn't win.
Game two: I animated the dragon and won.
Game three: I animated the dragon with no win conditions in sight. He was about
to pick up his cards when someone behind me said "Is this game a draw?" I say
"So, are you picking up your cards?" "Is this a draw?" "Do you scoop?" "Is this
a draw?" "Not if you scoop" etc until we decide to draw. Fscking audience
participation.
Game four: We go to time. Stupid animation shit happens, I lose my permanents a
couple of times. He ends up with one more answer than I have animates, but it
doesn't matter because it was turn five.
1-0-1, 3-1-2

Round Three
Master Tap with U/W control
Game one: I think I drew a fistful of ass, and he pulled out the win with some
random arbitrary random bad win condition (mishra's factory, maybe faeries)
Game two: I draw good cards and animate the dragon. This means he loses.
Game three: See game two.
2-0-1, 5-2-2

Round Four
Eric ELD playing Hulk SMASH
Game one: I mull down to a fistful of ass minus one card. He plays with good
cards and ends up swining with an arbitrarily large tog.
Game two: I have a decent hand opening with Bazaar Mox throw away Squee, Dragon,
Laquatus with land, double animate in hand, dropping Xantid Swarm. He opens with
Strip Mine, Mox, Lotus, double duress, taking both animate effects. I drop land
and swing with Xantid Swarm for three turns looking for one animate effect, and
don't see it. After the third turn, he dropped crypt. Then Tog, time walk,
ancestral, and Yawg Will follow.
2-1-1, 5-4-2

Round Five
Guy whose name I can't remember playing my d4gr0n from Waterbury
Game one: He throws an early dragon in to the yard and I animate it for the win.
Game two: I drop a turn one Xantid Swarm. Turn three, I swing with Swarm and
then toss a dragon in the yard and win without a fight. Xantid Swarm is fucking
awesome.
3-1-1, 7-4-2

Top Eight
Jeff (SamiteHealer) playing Keeper
Game one: He mulls down to six, and I make an early bazaar stick. I win without
much of a fight.
Game two: He mulls again. I drop Sapphire, Bazaar, whereas he drops Sapphire
Strip. He strips my Bazaar, I stifle, he forces, I drop another Bazaar, turn it
sideways, throw away a third bazaar and two squees to it. I am holding Bazaar
#4. I draw an ass ton of cards and end up animating the dragon before he has
three lands in play.

Semifinals
Scott Limoges (of RI) playing GAT
Game one: He has a bunch of answers as well as psychatog, yawg will, and time
walk.
Game two: People start to get worried because I lost game one to GAT. I point
out that I also lost game one to GAT in the finals of Waterbury. I remember
animating a dragon.
Game three: He drops an early Dryad and starts beating me up with it for one a
turn. It gets pretty big but I manage to make a Verdant Force stick. I apply
some beatz and hold back Saprolings as chump blockers. He lands a second dryad
and I land a second Verdant and then I time walked (he naturalized eot) and I
untap for the second turn. I try to animate a Dragon, and he hardcasts Force
leaving U untapped. I Dance again, and he puts CiP on the stack and blue blasts.
I let blue blast resolve, putting the dragon in the yard with leaves play still
on the stack. I necromancy the dragon he just blasted, and win with leaves play
still on the stack. I end up with no permanents, and he begins his turn with no
cards in his library.

Finals
I split with ELD. (The guy who beat me in swiss). We both end up with power,
Jeff ends up with the Ancestral, and we all leave happy.

After the tournament we all go to Applebees, passing up a KFC/Taco Bell C0mb0 on
the way! Over dinner, everyone who was playing control starts complaining about
their headaches and how beat they feel. I ask Chris (remember, the guy I
convinced to play Dragon earlier?) how he feels. He says he feels great and had
plenty of time to trade!
Note: It went something like this.
"You can take the blue pill, and go back to your control deck, tapping out on
your turn for Ophidian while someone wins in response. Or, you can take the red
pill, and animate a dragon, thus opening your eyes to the world around you. Two
pills, two choices."
"I'll take the red pill. I deserve to win for once."

Obligatory props and slops

Props:
Jeff for hooking me up with: The pimpest vamp tutor in existence, my Erhnam
Djinn deckbox (<3 Erhnam), the playmat I used all through T8, and random
miscellaneous pimp shit whenever.
Chris K, for driving us to this shiznat
Everyone who hosted/attended both tournaments, kickass

Slops:
Myself, for misplacing all over the place, all of the time
Islands, for turning sideways and counterin' my shizzle
Bats. Damn you, damn you!

-=ADAM=-

-The Official Pimp of TMD-

PS Props
Me, SummenSaugen, for typing Adam's dictation. I fucking rule.
I am not Adam's secretary.