all your report are belong to us

Thirty-five (35!) people showed up at C&J's this week, and this while we were
missing Fishhead, Zhalfirin and spevack. I did decently but not great--finishing
5th place with a 3-1-1 record with Hulk (splashing Red). The tournament was
taken by Rector Trix, with second place being the other Hulk deck piloted by
Brent (UnstableCornBread). My brief report follows:

Round One: Sligh.

Smash smash. At one point he had two guys. I Wished for Fire/Ice. That was fun.
That's about all I have to say about this match.

Round Two: Raziel with Ducktape.

Game One: We seesaw back and forth for a while, and he's unable to get a huge
advantage, though he's putting pressure on me. I Duress a couple key artifacts
early, so he doesn't have as much gas as he might. We end up with the following
board: Raziel: tons of mana artifacts, two fading Tangle Wires (I believe at 1
and 2 counters, respectively), lots of land, no cards in hand. Me: One card in
hand (something inconsequential), five lands, lethal Tog that was tapped down
last turn (I had 4 lands + Tog, he had 5 total Tangle counters). He draws his
one and only chance to do anything to save this game. Wheel of Fortune. Ack!!!
He draws into a Twister from Wheel (Tog is still lethal). I cannot draw a FoW in
the Twister either. He goes to town, ends his massive turn with a couple
Smokestacks, a Welder, newly refreshed Tangle Wires, etc. ONE TURN AWAY!

Game Two: I nominate Raziel for the title of Incarnation of All That Is Good and
Holy About C&J's.  You'll see why in a second. My board against
Ducktape/$T4KS/MUD/etc. is pretty strong. In particular, Artifact Mutation
begins to severely beat Spheres and Smokestacks about the head and shoulders.
However, the first game went so long that we were on five turns very quickly. I
have a plan that I formulate on the first of the five extra turns that involves
me winning on turn five. Everything is falling into place. I Mystical for
YawgWill at his EOT on turn two. I take my massive YawgWill turn on turn three.
However, at a key moment, I forget (though I had this whole turn already played
out in my head) that I have to sack my Lotus for BLACK after I replay it, and
sack it for Blue, then announce Merchant Scroll. I go searching for my Fire/Ice
(to kill his Welder) and suddenly realize what I've done. I look at Tom
sheepishly and tell him that while I will still be playing the Merchant Scroll,
I needed to sack that Lotus for black. I also tell him that if he allows me to
take it back that he will probably lose. He thinks about it for a second and
then, saint that he is, says, "what the hell, your rating's higher than mine and
I know you had it planned out. Sure, you can sack for black". That allows me to
drop Tog, and on the fifth turn I burn his Welder and swing with my 6 little
Artifact Mutation 1/1s and a Tog for the win.

So once again Tom goes above and beyond. Truly gentlemanly.

Round 3: Ubwg control deck with Meddling Mages.

Game One: we're both horribly land-screwed for about 5 turns, and trade FoWs
back and forth. I begin to pull away when I find my 3rd land while he's stuck on
one land + off-color Mox, so I use my Wish for Vamp for Strip Mine to put the
screws on (I was pretty sure I wouldn't resolve Ancestral anyway). Of course,
that's when he begins to topdeck land, so it looks like we have to play a game
after all. He hits five mana, I Duress him and see Mirari's Wake in his hand.
Wow. I guess I have to take it, since I have no countermagic left. That explains
the Tropical Island. He doesn't draw much else, however, while I topdeck
Mystical and go for YawgWill. Mystical was great to me all night.

Game Two: My hand of 7 is rather bland, but I topdeck the countermagic I need to
protect my Intuition'd-for AK for 3, which draws me into my second AK. From
there it's academic.

Round 4: Rector Trix (the winner of the tournament).

Ah crap. UnstableCornBread managed a lucky draw against this Rector Trix earlier
and sort of smirked at me when he saw the pairings and said, "Bad matchup." He
was right. Game One I mull to six and I'm a little land-screwed. Nevertheless,
it almost looks like I'm going to pull it out... but then he resolves Academy
Rector. Game Two: we're BOTH land-light, and we both mull to six. His first turn
is Sea, Brainstorm. My first turn is Sea, Brainstorm. His second turn is
Brainstorm. My second turn is: Brainstorm. His third turn is: Brainstorm. Heh.
At this point Shawn walks by and says, "You guys suck at this game." Hear hear.
I'm hoping desperately for a Strip Mine. Or maybe an Ancestral. I get a
Fetchland, however, and shuffle away all the crap that was on top of my library.
However, at this point he starts Duressing and Therapy-ing me and once he starts
drawing mana sources, I can't put up a fight. He resolves a Negator, but I'm not
worried about it. Tog >>>> Negator. Once again, however, I have no effective
answer to Rector once it resolves. I do manage to get out a Deed before he takes
his big Bargain turn, but unfortunately I only have 6 mana sources, so I drop
Deed + Tog (to hopefully limit his draws from Bargain if he manages to stall at
all this turn) and hope to get one more turn, at which point I can leave Deed
open to Deed for 4 while beating down with Tog--he'll have to find a Rushing
River or Seal of Cleansing before he can drop Illusions. Unfortunately, it is
not to be, and he Donates me an Illusions while I'm tapped out. And plays
another one. And plays YawgWill. Etc. Not unexpected, but still sigh-worthy.

Round 5: Rector Trix again! This guy's one of our Unreg members here, but I've
unfortunately forgotten his name. He was (as all my opponents were) a great
opponent. Game One he does what Trix does, which is rape my hand, drop Rector,
and laugh at my petty little Illusions of Grandeur. Game Two he stalls out after
alot of disruption and cannot find anything before Tog destroys him and I draw
an ungodly amount of cards with AK for 3, AK for 4. Game Three he's again able
to resolve Rector, get Bargain, and drop Illusions--but he's tapped out to do
it, so I get a turn. I draw FoW, attack with my Tog, and though I can only swing
for about 8 damage I go for the gusto, remove my graveyard entirely, and leave
just FoW + Tog in my hand. I'm hoping I can limit his draw, but he's still going
to get to see something like 15 or 16 cards. But he cannot find a Donate
anywhere. He goes all the way down to 4 life, then Vamps for another Illusions
and draws it, putting him at one. Then he entirely forgets to Duress me (he just
plain forgot!), and plays Illusions number two. I Force. He doesn't have enough
blue mana to Force back, and he can't pitch, since he's at one life. YES!! He
scoops up his cards. We shake hands. He says he doesn't know why he didn't
Duress, but he just didn't think about it. I can understand; it was his first
time playing the deck and he was looking at a giant hand of 20+ cards and was
basically in goldfish mode. I got lucky.

So I finish 3-1-1. Rector Trix is a serious beating vs. control. I think a
couple Crypts are going to find their way in to my SB. And maybe a Stifle. It
just seems like there should be better cards to hose Rector Trix than Crypt or
(!) Stifle. I'll think about it.