all your report are belong to us

I suppose I might as well do as much of a tournament report as I can, I didn't
really take notes, but I'll mention what I remember.

First off, the decklist

Uccisore Mostros(Killer Monsters in Italian)
4xSavannah Lions
4xGoblin Legionaire
3xMogg Fanatic
3xPhyrexian Negator
2xIcatian Javelineer
4xLightning Bolt
3xIncinerate
3xFire/Ice
2xCursed Scroll
3xVindicate
2xSwords to Plowshares
2xTerminate
1xAncestral Recall
1xTimetwister
1xDemonic Tutor
1xBlack Vise
4xTithe
4xPlateau
2xBadlands
2xCity of Brass
1xTundra
1xScrubland
1xFlooded Strand
1xWindswept Heath
1xBloodstained Mire
1xStrip Mine
1xWasteland
1xMox Pearl
1xMox Ruby

SB
3xDiabolic Edict
3xSeal of Cleansing
3xAura Blast
3xScald
2xEnergy Flux
1xPlains

I'm horrible with names, so in order not to offend the people whose names I
don't remember, I just won't list any names.

Round 1: White Weenie
This guy was just there to have fun, he said he had a few other things put
together, but he loaned them to friends to play with, since he didn't care how
he did. First game was quick, I had to mulligan to get some lands, but I dropped
out first turn Ruby, Plateau, Legionnaire. We played around a bit back and
forth, he'd drop a creature, I'd burn it, and beat him with Legionnaire. He
played 3 Moms in the first three turns, the first I hit with a Fanatic, the
second with Fire/Ice, and the third got Bolted. He couldn't keep a creature on
the board, and when the game ended, he had a hand with 2 Empyrial Armors in it,
because he had nothing to play them on.

I boarded in Edicts for game 2. I expected CoP: Red, but I wasn't particularly
worried about it, because I have the kitties, negators, scroll, and Vindicate if
I really needed to get rid of it. I was a bit more worried about making sure
that I had non-burn removal for his critters, since an active Mom or a Soltari
Priest could wreck house with only 3 Vindicate, 2 scrolls and 2 Plow main to
deal with pro-red critters, and empyrial armor was kinda scary. I forgot that my
deck was designed to annihilate creature-based decks, CoP: Red was a bit more
annoying than I thought, and he also dropped a Justice on me with a Soltari
Priest in play, and he was holding off 2 Legionnaires with CoP: Red. All I had
in play was 2 Plateaus and a Tundra, with an Edict and a Vindicate in hand. I
peeled a City, dropped it, Vindicated the Justice, and swung 8 with the 2
Legionnaires (he had out 2 Crusades). The next turn, I edicted him in response
to him playing White Knight, then Bolted the Knight EoT. I swung with the 2
Legionnaires, he prevented the damage, then I pitched them at him, while he was
tapped out, bringing him to -1.

Matches:1-0-0  Games:2-0-0

Round 2: GAT
This guy wasn't great, he made several mistakes that I noticed. I kept a hand
with Plateau and Wasteland as my only lands, but I figured since my name was
Mike, I'd draw into more, and I know that with GAT's low mana count, it's fairly
easy to mana screw them. I figured between the waste and the Vindicate in my
hand, I could probably give him mana issues. He had won the dice roll, and went
first, dropping a Delta. I cursed the fact that I wouldn't get to waste before
he got 2 lands out for Gush, but he popped the Delta on his turn to get a Trop
and then said go. So I dropped the Wasteland and wasted his trop.

He dropped out another Polluted Delta on turn 2, this time, choosing not to sac
it on his turn. I dropped my Plateau and played a Savannah Lions. I then
proceded to draw no lands for the next 6 turns, and while I took out the first
Dryad he dropped a turn later with a Mogg Fanatic, the second one survived both
the Fanatic in play, the Bolt EoT, and the Plow I threw at it on my next turn.
With only 1 land in play, there was nothing else I could do, and I soon scooped
to an 8/8 Dryad and a Psychatog.

Game 2, the land situation was a little better. I went first, dropped a
Scrubland and a Javelineer, and said go. The next turn, I beat one, and passed
the turn. He played Merchant Scroll for Ancestral and said go. I Tithed EoT, and
getting a Tundra and a Plateau, then proceeded to drop Black Vise, which
resolved, and since he was tapped out, I attempted to cast the Ancestral in my
hand. He had the Misdirection, and a 6 card swing like that is nearly a game
ender against anything, and especially so against a deck that fast.

Matches: 1-1-0  Games:2-2-0

Round 3: Stax
This was the matchup I had been waiting for. Sometime around 3am Saturday
morning, I was talking with Chris outside of GNet, and we were discussing what
to do about Prison decks. We talked about a lot of things, Seeds of Innocence
for him, Viashino Heretic for me, Hurkyl's Recall, but we finally decided on
Energy Flux. How the hell he even remembered that pile existed, I'll never know,
but I thought it was the greatest idea since sliced bread. I was rather curious
to see how it'd work out.

Game 1, I led things off with a Mogg Fanatic. He dropped out a Volcanic, a Ruby,
a Sol Ring, and a Welder. I Fired it turn 2, and beat with the Fanatic. Turn 3,
I end up dropping out Negator, and although he gets down Smokestack when I pass
the turn, he didn't draw anything decent, and I peeled lands like my name was
Mike, keeping Negator on the table. He was at 6, and all I had was a Scrub, a
Badlands, a City, and the Negator. I sacrificed the Scrub and the Badlands to
Smokestack, and proceeded to peel Strip Mine. I dropped it out, and swung,
bringing him down to 1. He sacrificed Smokestack and one of his 2 Spheres, and
dropped out Karn. I untapped, and played Icatian Javelineer. Obviously, he had
no way to deal with it and scooped.

Game 2, I boarded in 2 Energy Flux and 3 Seal of Cleansing, removing 3
Incinerate and 2 Plows. He gets out a first turn Sphere, and things are looking
kind of bad. I finally got out of the Tangle Wire lock, and with my 3 lands, I
tap out to DT. He untaps and tried to wheel, until I reminded him that it cost 1
more with Sphere. So he said go. I hoped to draw a land to drop out the Flux I
just tutored for, but it wasn't to be. He played a land the next turn and
Wheeled, dropping out Karn. I lose to a Karn and a Sphere of Resistance.

Game 3 starts out mostly the same way, I drop out a Savannah Lions, then on his
turn, he drops a Workshop and a Sphere of Resistance. I Waste his Workshop, and
smash face. Over the next couple turns, he drops another Workshop, a Sol Ring,
Metal Worker, and finally Smokestack. At this point, there are now 2 Sphere's of
Resistance in play, and shit is getting kinda hairy. I took out the Welder after
about 2 turns, and there's nothing they can do about it, I just run too much
removal, even after board when I pull out Terminate and StP, I'm still looking
at a full compliment of burn, 4 bolts, 4 incinerate, and 4 fire/ice.

In any case, I tapped 5 and Vindicated Karn. He responded by popping a Snake
Basket for 5. At this point, all I had out was a Savannah Lions and an Icatian
Javelineer, and I was at 12. I said done, and passed the turn. He swings 5,
bringing me to 7, then says go. Over the next 3 turns, I proceeded to drop the 2
Goblin Legionaires already in my hand, and a 3rd one that I drew. The beats
ceased when the first one dropped, but I wanted to be on the safe side, and I
didn't have much else to play, other than a Seal of Cleansing, but I'd already
killed the only Smokestack on the board, so my lands weren't going anywhere
before I could drop the Seal. He drops a 3rd Sphere of Resistance, passes the
turn, and then I drew it. The super-secret jank tech. Unfortunately, I costs 3,
and with 3 Spheres on the table, I can't cast it. So I drop the Seal, intending
to nuke a Sphere EoT.

He untapped, and dropped a Tangle Wire. I knew there was no way I could tap for
that, if I tapped my creatures, he could swing with the 4 remaining Snakes and a
Metal Worker, putting me at 2, and I just didn't want to take the risk, so I
blew up the Tangle Wire. I untapped, and peeled Tithe. I did a quick check, 1
Plateau in play, 1 Scrub, 1 Tundra, and 2 Plateau in grave. That meant that
there was one Plateau left in the deck. So EoT, I tap 4 and Tithe, fetching the
last plains my deck has to offer. I untap, drop my 6th land, and windmill
down.......  Energy Flux!! It was one of those moments you really wish you had a
camera. With 2 Workshops, a Volc, a Reef, and 2 Moxen as his mana, there wasn't
much he could do. He tapped 2 lands and 2 Moxen, saved the Metal Worker and the
Sphere of Resistance, but the rest of his shit died. I untapped, swing with 3
Goblin Legionnaires, and he takes 6. I tap 3 and Incinerate him, then pitch 2
Legionnaires at his face for the game.

Poor Raziel got janked. For me, it was the crowning moment of the night, I'd
been waiting to pull that one on a Prison player since Saturday morning,
although the expression on his face wasn't as priceless as I thought, probably
due to the fact that he hadn't slept the night before.

Matches:2-1-0  Games:4-3-0

Round 4: Mono-U Landstill

Game 1: I mostly lost to Dustbowl, it ate 5 lands, and a Wasteland nailed the
last one. Mishra's Factory dropped out under a Nev's Disk, despite getting him
to 1, it beat me from 18-0. He just had the counters when he needed them, and I
didn't draw anything too useful. I would've saved up cards for a big turn to try
and punch through the counter wall, but I was losing a land a turn, and this
after a start with little in the way of lands.

I honestly thought after first game that this guy was playing Mono-U, I had seen
nothing to suggest otherwise, I mean, I got beat down with Factory, but I
expected B2B to come in out of the board, so I boarded in the Seals and Aura
Blasts, in addition to the Edicts and Scalds I board against any Morphling based
control... Needless to say, it was a bad decision. My opening hand was City,
Ruby, Scald, Vise, Negator, Legionnaire, Timetwister. I dropped out the City and
the Ruby and played Scald. He dropped out a Waste, Wasted my city, and played a
Sapphire. End of my turn, he Mysticaled for BEB, and on his turn, killed the
Scald. Vise was still hurting him, but not by much, and when the vise stopped
hurting, I started playing spells. I recovered fairly well from the Waste, and
when I got to 3 mana, I Twistered, only to find that his 3 cards in hand were 2
BEB's and a Misdirection, if I'd have played the Negator instead, he'd have been
powerless to stop it. By this point, we were both having a blast, we'd been
talking since before the round started, and he was a very funny guy, I had more
fun in this match than in any other, Energy Flux game aside.

I have 2 lands and a Mox in play, and I twist into a no-land hand. I really
can't do much, and after a while, Standstill drops out. I save up until I get
enough lands that I felt I could break through the standstill, and break it EoT
with 2 Lightning Bolts and an Incinerate. The first he takes, the second, he
Mis-D's, and the third he Drains. I start my turn, and everything gets countered
again, C-Spell, FoW, FoW. He drops a disk and another standstill. He commented a
few turns later that I was about to see the saddest thing I'd ever seen in a
Magic game. He then discarded Black Lotus during his discard step. It was rather
sad, actually. I Stripped the first dustbowl that came out, but the second one
stayed active. At this point, I told him he was playing mono-U LD, since he'd
used Wasteland 4 times, Strip Mine twice, and Dustbowl another 4 times. In fact,
for the rest of the tournament, I referred to him as the mono-U LD player. By
the end of the game, with 2 Conclaves swinging, I was at 1, with just a CoB on
the board, when I peeled Ancestral. I figured what the hell, might as well go
out with style. So I tapped the City, put the damage effect on the stack, and
used the U to cast Ancestral Recall. Drew 3 cards, then promptly died to City
damage.

Matches:2-2-0 Games:4-5-0

Round 5: Mono-Green Fat/Control
This guy had a really interesting deck, it was all about the early acceleration,
then huge must-counter spells like Blastoderm, Ravenous Baloth, Plow Under, and
Stunted Growth. I would just like to take a moment to say that Stunted Growth is
a stupidly powerful card, if it wasn't green, it would quite possibly be one of
the most broken cards in T1. Unfortunately, a 5 mana green spell is not broken
no matter what it does. In any case, I put up a good fight game 1, but the life
gain from Baloth and Feeder put him ahead, and I simply lost to burn from
Eladamri's Vineyard and a Treetop Village.

Game 2, I went mana disruption on him. He dropped out a first turn Fyndhorn Elf,
I Fired it, second turn elf, I bolted, third turn, I plowed, fourth turn wall of
roots got vindicated, and there he was, stuck on 2 lands. Unfortunately, I drew
like my name was Mike this game, casting 4 Tithes in the first 6 turns, and
still managing to draw no creatures. I drew plenty of burn, but eventually, he
found land, and although I managed to get a couple critters, 2 derms popped out
on back to back turns, and my deck just didn't have the tools.

Matches:2-3-0  Games:4-7-0

Round 6: Future Sight Keeper

At this point, I was just hoping to pull even, I realized that my mana base just
wasn't cooperating today, and I figured this would be an easy match. It's not
bad pre-board, and post board, it's even better. Unfortunately, it wasn't to be.
I don't remember how I lost game 1, although I remember him tutoring for
Morphling when he should have got Future Sight, but game 2, after he wasted my
opening city, countered my tithe, and then duressed me on turn 2, dropping out a
Morphling, I realized I was going to walk away from this tournament a 4 time
loser. I didn't draw any lands, and even if I did, he'd have had the counter for
my edict. We played several games for fun, and I won the majority of those
games, but when it counted, my deck had buckled.

I ended the day off 2-4, unhappy about the impending drop in my rating, which
has dropped enough as it is, but generally happy. I played a lot of cool people,
had a lot of fun, despite the migraine I picked up sometime around the end of
round 4. All in all, it was a good day.